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Day 9: Wait a minute. This has nothing to do with food and travel. Or does it?
Early on, I told my followers that I would be brutally honest and open with them when it came to my solo travel journey. I often talk about how this lifestyle is glamorized on Instagram, TikTok, and other social media platforms (don’t get me wrong, I glamorize it too). However, we very rarely get a glimpse of the downside. The loneliness. The existential thoughts. The culture-shock. Or the emotions that come with simply missing friends and loved ones. It’s been an amazing opportunity for me to explore new places, taste new foods, meet people, and learn new things; but I think I’ve learned more about myself in these past few weeks than ever before.
As someone who has learned to internalize my emotions, and put the needs of others before myself, I’ve realized that I suffer from people-pleasing. This solitude and solo-travel lifestyle has allowed me to rediscover my likes/dislikes. Here I have been able to examine my feelings on a daily basis. I sit in those feelings until I have figured out where they stem from and how to fix them (if they need fixing). I’ve also learned how to say, “no,” or, “not right now.” I don’t jump up to report for duty when someone needs help or has a question. I am not enabling the people around me. Sadly, I’ve realized that removing myself from certain places/situations is the only way for me to recover from being a people pleaser.
Are you still following me? I know I am getting pretty deep here but hear me out! I have NEVER been able to fully say, “no,” to someone! Can you believe that? Thirty-two years on this earth and I am just now realizing that my, “no,” has really been a “maybe.” Or, it meant, let me see how far they can get on their own, and then I will jump in. Can you believe that! It took me to be thousands of miles away from home, doing the things that bring me joy, to realize that I have a people-pleasing addiction.
I started to question myself. Was I ever really happy? Have I ever really experienced joy? Luckily, my faith saved me from the philosophical shadows on the wall. I know that I’ve experienced those things. I experienced them when I was chatting with God while kayaking on the lake. Or while thanking as I hike up a huge mountain. Instead, I think I am easily distracted by the needs of others, and as a result, I people please.
Now my treatment plan!
As a former counselor, I know that creating a treatment plan with measurable and attainable goals can be difficult. There are so many factors in play when trying to get an addicted individual to break an undesirable habit and replace it with something less harmful. You’ve got financial setbacks, codependent relationships, and constraints of time involved. So, what do I do? I don’t want to be a people please anymore, but how do I break the cycle? Do I travel for the rest of my life? Do I sign myself up for all the cooking classes abroad? These are the questions I am left with as I live as a solo traveler. I’ve got a few weeks left to get things sorted out. BUT…..The great things is that I have admitted the problem, and I am ready for the solution.
Your Friend (recovering people-pleaser),
BrookeLynn the Friendly Blogger